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After all the heaviness of the recent suicide talk, I find I really need to talk about something more positive. It makes sense to me to move on to talking about all the things that there are to live for.
Love is one of those things. Whether you have it now or not, you can have it someday. Maybe it will be the love of a pet or a friend or a family member or maybe even true love. I haven’t experienced all the kinds of love that I want to, but I know that there is still time. As long as I keep going, I keep giving myself chances to experience more love. It seems that as time passes that’s exactly what happens, and it gives me hope.
Success is another reason to live. God knows I’m still fighting for that one. I’ve had glimpses of it, I’ve had good times. I’ve believed that poverty and struggle were finally behind me. I was wrong, but I know that there’s still time. I keep going, keep working, and I keep my mind on the fact that no matter what happens I never seem to fall quite as far as I was before. I now believe that I can be successful, I just have to put my heart into it and I will see it happen.
Change. The changes happening in society right now are pretty bleak, but some spiritualists have said that 2014 will be the year it all turns for the better. I want to be alive to see that. Yes, the current state of the world saddens me, but I want to be here to see it get better, and I really try to believe that it actually will.
The good stuff. There is good in the world, and I love being here to see it. If I hadn’t stuck it out, I wouldn’t have been here to see friends find love and marry, to see a friend come out, to see all the cute cat videos on the internet. Every day I go out and find something good in the world via the internet and I share it. There is some really wonderful stuff happening out there if you look for it.
Food. I know, that seems silly to some, but I love food. Food is amazing. I’m thankful that I lived long enough to become a really good cook, find a man who’s an amazing cook and try all kinds of foods. I lived to see the end of all my food allergies, which is a bloody miracle. I look forward to all the other foods that I’m going to get to try over the course of my life, and all the meals I’ll get to share with others.
Nature. I adore nature and animals. Some people don’t, but I think they should try. There’s a kind of joy and peace you can get from seeing a butterfly flit across the lawn or watching a squirrel bury nuts in the yard. There’s a serene beauty to watching leaves turn in the fall and blooms open in the spring.
Friends. I don’t have many in-person friends, but I have made true friends online. I love them dearly. I am so glad that I stayed in this world long enough to find that there are actually good people, and some of them actually like me. I mention them in my gratitude journal every night. I’m very glad that I was wrong when I thought I would never have any real friends.
I could probably go on for days, and truth be told, I’d enjoy it. It feels wonderful when you think about all the good in the world instead of all the suck. The suck is shown to us every day in the media, but if you look, with your heart as well as your eyes, you can find so much good. And you really have to. You need to look for it, and your world changes when you do.
