Enjoy my writing and art? Want to see more? Support my work on Patreon or donate with PayPal.
I swear our house is inhabited by sock gnomes. And not your normal sock gnomes. No, these little fellows are a special variety.
Have you ever had the joy of finding one sock missing? You take two off, put them on the floor or in the hamper. Two. Definitely. Somewhere between the spot you took them off and heading to the drawer after washing, one goes missing. You check the floors, the hamper, the washer and dryer, the laundry room, under the furniture, the pet’s bed, everywhere. No sock. Congratulations, you have sock gnomes.
Well, our sock gnomes, as I said, are a special variety. They don’t just take socks. No, they seem to leave twist ties in exchange. I can’t count the number of times that a mystery twist tie has appeared on the counter. Our trash bags don’t have ties, all the ones from the bread are in place, so where do they come from? I think the sock gnomes consider this an exchange program.
Imagine the title being spoken in a cute, squeaky little gnome voice. That’s how I imagine them. they steal socks (and sometimes underwear) and leave behind a variety of colorful twist ties. I’m kidding here of course, but you really do have to wonder. Where do the ties come from? Where do the socks go?
I wondered about gnomes another time too. I lost one of the screw-on balls for one of my piercings. We all searched the house high and low. We looked everywhere. No ball. Then, three days later I’m walking toward my chair to sit down for work, and there it is, bold as brass, sitting exactly in the dead center of my seat. How did it get there? Everyone in the house laughed at the freakishness of it. It was almost like someone (or something) found it and put it there.
Do you have sock gnomes in your home? Do they leave you gifts in exchange for the stolen footwear?
