Looking over all the things I’ve written, you might not think that I have a rather serious self esteem and self confidence issue. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there with my particular flavor of problem. I sound confident, I’m always talking about being good to yourself and having the strength to be yourself. In short I write a LOT about self confidence.
I write about it to try to help myself. I have lived for FAR too long dependant upon the opinion of others. I am a people pleaser, often to my own detriment. Not too long ago I had a revelation or two about this. Until rather recently, I had no idea HOW to eliminate my need to live for others. I am a kind and generous person so it’s rather important to me to be good to other people. That makes it very hard to wrap your head around the seemingly selfish mindset that self-esteem requires.
So how can we have healthy self confidence without turning into a douche? That answer is simpler than I thought. Accept that you AREN’T a jerk and move on from there. Constantly ask yourself “Would I be doing this if no-one else cared?” When you can answer honestly to yourself that you want it done, because YOU want it done, then you are on the right path. Make sure that you realize that YOU have to live with the consequences of your decisions and actions. If you aren’t comfortable with what you are doing, then STOP. If someone tells you that you should do something, QUESTION IT. Is it actually something that you should do or is just something that they want you to do?
Question the motives of others.
Remember that YOUR opinion matters too!
You have to live with yourself, forever. Do they?