Everybody knows (I hope) that hollywood drops the ball when it comes to movies and reality. They do it a lot, although in recent years there has been a trend for more reality. Still, in the face of trying to be more scientifically accurate they have still forgotten a few important details.

People poop. Yep, they sure do. If you can’t poop, then something is wrong and you need help. So if everyone needs a potty break, then how can someone who has been chained up for days on end somehow have magically clean pants? Curious minds wanna know. In the corner some people might say, but someone who is chained hand and foot isn’t going to even move much. I can understand a certain gross factor, but not always. When they can show me an evisceration in high resolution with maximum detail, then they can show soiled pants. I can see a commercial for toilet paper and adult butt wipes but movies can’t admit that people poop?

Where WERE the toilets on the Enterprise?

Next up on our chopping block of movie weirdness is hair. Body hair specifically, or to be more precise, a LACK of body hair. Spend a month out in the woods with no access to a razor and a woman’s legs and pits get hairy. Hollywood has NO problem showing an actor with a scruffy beard and face but for some reason they seem to think that we are stupid enough to think that women don’t grow hair. For those actresses out there who think it will ruin their image to be seen with leg hair I have this to say: “GROW UP!!” Females grow leg hair, as is proven to me every night by the plethora of hair removal products advertised on TV.

While we are on the women’s beauty topic, let’s discuss history. I study history and I love movies, so I get annoyed at some things. Women in “tribal” societies really get me going. Makeup, shaved legs, styled hair and the like. I don’t mean on older movies, I mean on ones made in the last few years. The men can look scruffy, but not the women? EXCUSE me, do I have “stupid” tattooed on my forehead or something?

How about women in docudramas about medieval times? You DO realize that to be attractive back then you HAD to look well fed? It’s a sign of affluence and the ability to birth children. Curvy with a belly meant that you were RICH and could afford to eat and not work. How about the FACT that bathing was something only the lower classes did? Nobility did NOT bathe, they just applied a dab of perfume. Nobles tended to be a bunch of dirty, smelly, hairy, rude buggers. The average citizen was cleaner. Westerners did NOT shave for a LONG time, it was considered uncivilized.

So did any women in history shave or use makeup? YES, they did. As a matter of fact Egyptians did both. They were kinda neurotic about body hair. They removed ALL hair, even on top of their heads. Men and women shaved all hair, wore wigs, and wore makeup. I wouldn’t complain about them in a movie, but the rest get my ire up.

I could go on and on, but I’ll save some stuff for another post.

dracoselene

I'm an artist, writer, ordained interfaith minister, veteran, spiritualist, androgyne, and piles of other labels that never seem to fit. I'm following my passion and attempting to make myself and the world a better place. I think that through compassion and understanding we can all become one unified race of human beings, and life is better when you remember to play.