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For those of us who are into the whole self-development thing, finding the path is pretty important. You struggle to find the right path to leading a happier life, being a better person, etc. You can realize some pretty bizarre things along the way, I’m gonna share one with you today.
For months, I was turning away from anger, hate and violence. They’re “bad” things right? I thought so too. Until recently. I quit watching TV with violence, movies with violence, video games, and I even quit involving violence in rpgs. I had turned my back on ALL “negativity”, assuming that that is the way to happiness and all that is good in this world. I fell for the classic blunder, I lost track of one of my core beliefs.
I strongly believe that there is NO ONE TRUE PATH. Everyone must choose their own path. I forgot that. I forgot that I am NOT anyone else, and that someone else’s path is not mine. While you should strive to understand others and “walk in their shoes”, don’t start to think that you ARE them. I screwed up, but at least I learned something.
I learned that for some of us out there, violence and darkness are a necessity. I have a heart of darkness and I should not fear it. I attempted to squelch something inside myself that I should not have. I am not Gandhi or Mother Theresa, big surprise. I am also not a serial killer or the Hulk. My needs and desires for violence and darkness are not theirs.
I have re-thought my blind anti-violent ways. I tried to find THE path and went too far. I became an extremist of the pacifist flavor. My life lost the joy and happiness I had worked HARD to attain. I quit having fun and started to get BORED. I don’t get bored as a general rule, if I get bored something has gone very wrong. My path involves a belief in justice, and even vengeance when necessary. I believe in the sanctity of the natural world, even the darker aspects of it. I think that we can learn just as much from predators as we can from prey. I will remember that forests rebuild faster and stronger after a wildfire.
I will find MY path, not anyone else’s. I can learn and adapt thanks to my mistakes, can you?