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There are ways you can control your thoughts of suicide
Deep depression and thoughts of suicide can happen to anyone. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to change these thoughts and continue with your life.
Having been suicidal on more than one occasion in my late teens and twenties, I know from experience that there are ways to get past these thoughts, and get a handle on your life. It’s not always easy, but it can be done. Unfortunately, it’s a decision that you have to make within yourself, no amount of medication or therapy can do it for you.
Many people contemplate suicide because they feel that no one cares about them, or they’re not important to anyone. The truth is, you have to be good enough for you, and love yourself. No one else really matters that much. That idea may be hard to swallow, but it’s true. If you don’t love and value yourself, no one else will. Getting that into your head is a good place to start.
It is vitally important that you love yourself. Don’t listen to what other people say about you. Find things about yourself that are good, and things that you’re good at, and focus on that. Don’t worry if someone else says you’re not good enough. When you realize that you are worthy of love and respect, despite anything other people say, it gives you more of a reason to keep living.
Some people think no one cares about them, and no one would care if they died. Maybe it’s true, and maybe it’s not. Having a “fuck you” attitude can actually help here. At one time I felt worthless and unloved. Being a victim of abuse, I figured everyone hated me too much to care if I was dead; they might even be happy if I was. I was on the verge of ending it all when I decided to give a big middle finger to the world and keep on living. I decided that I wasn’t going to be weak and worthless and end my life. I was going to fight, and I was going to live.
Be wary of anti-depressants or drug use if you’re feeling suicidal. No matter how safe a doctor or therapist claims a pill to be, there is often risk of increased thoughts of suicide. Illegal drugs can also impair your judgment. Keep a clear head, and keep your focus on reasons why you should keep living.
You can try writing about your feelings as a form of self-therapy. If you read the poetry I have posted, it won’t be hard to tell when I was in my blackest period. Writing, whether it is songs, poetry, or just entries in a diary, can be a great way to get your feelings out. Once you have them on paper, you can analyze your problems and try to work on them. At the very least, it gets the feelings out, and it can bring a sense of relief.
If you can, find someone to talk to. Sometimes you feel like you have no one, but you may be able to find someone in real life or online that can help you through. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to point out the reasons why your life is worth living. Also, knowing that you’re not the only one who’s ever felt this way for these reasons can be a great relief, especially when you see how others have gotten past those thoughts.
No matter what you may think, your life is worth living. If you take your own life, you’ll miss out on all the amazing experiences that might be just around the corner. They say it’s always darkest before the dawn, and it seems to be true. If you can get past the suicidal thoughts, you’ll be stronger for it, and your life is sure to take a turn for the better.