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It was brought to my attention that some of my posts might be “Starting to make people think I’m a little crazy”. My response was “just starting?” and “only a little?”
For someone who knows me WELL, yeah. For those of you who don’t know me yet, you might indeed be thinking that I have gone over the deep end. You might think that I have completely lost it, gone off the ranch, and be ready for heavy medication.
So we come around to a post like this. Where I feel the need to justify my actions. YUCK.
I will not apologize for being myself. I will not feel guilty for embracing my dark side.
I will however let you all know that I am not ALL darkness, sadism and evil. I am still the same goofy bugger who loves dolls and candy. I still believe in things that others find impossible. Things like fairness and compassion.
Frankly, after letting my inner darkness out for a little bit, I actually feel better. Refreshed somehow. I let the demons run and now they aren’t biting at their chains. I keep them chained up in the basement, right next to the Miller High Life. They don’t get out in public very often so they have a tendency to go a little overboard. How would you feel if the only thing you were allowed to do is play video games?
Balance isn’t always easy, but it IS worth it. Knowing that you are more than one thing is only the first step. Then you have to discover how to make it all work. That’s why I have such issues with labels. When your labels contradict you can be in a pickle.
I’m a person, a whole person. I have dark bits and light bits. I have masculine thoughts and feminine thoughts. I drool over a hot model AND her boots. I get excited when I see an animated film, AND when I watch a gore fest. I’m enthusiastic about reading a good book, and about watching a cheesy movie.
I have never met anyone who isn’t the same way. The difference is, I don’t deny who I am. I balance my bits (as best as I can), and I’m fine with the weird stuff.
Be YOU, be unapologetic about it. Be weird, be goofy, be dark, be girly, be macho. Hell, be a jelly and bologna burrito if you must. But be YOU.
Remember, only YOU can be YOU. Nobody else does it better 🙂