Hopefully everyone caught my update on the fundraiser where I said that we got some good news about moving. If not, let me try to sum up: We’re going to be moving to Texas rather than staying here, we’ll be able to take the pets, and it looks like we will be able to have a comfortably sized rental. Instead of scrambling to get a ton of money for rent and bills and a car and other things, we only need to get enough money for some furniture, appliances and moving expenses.
This is really great news. However, that’s what has me feeling off. I basically don’t have to stress anymore. I don’t have to work like a mad dog trying to do everything I can as fast as I can. I can slow down some and work smarter. The stress of possibly losing the pets or getting crammed in a tiny apartment or having to pay tons of bills is gone. I’m not keen on moving, most people aren’t, but it’s so small of a thing that it’s almost laughable.
It’s been quite a while since I was able to relax. It’s been a while since I didn’t have massive and constant stress bearing down on me. It feels weird in a way. It’s still sinking in that I don’t need to be in panic mode anymore. I still need money to buy stuff for the new rental, and hopefully a used car, but that’s a lot less than I was worrying about before.
I actually slept well for a couple nights this weekend. That was huge for me. I haven’t slept for more than three hours a night in weeks. The insane and persistent heartburn I’ve had is all but gone. I lost almost half a pound. My mind is still racing, but now it’s full of positive and hopeful thoughts. It’s very different, but I really like it.
I’ll probably be able to do more writing now, because a stress-free brain can be more creative. I was even considering cleaning off the work table and making some more jewelry, just so I can enjoy it. Other than that, I think I’ll just be taking time to let my brain adjust to being able to chill the hell out for a while.