I haven’t been posting much over the last few days because… Well… I just haven’t known what to do. It’s been very hard for me to think of anything creative. What I’ve been seeing and experiencing over the last week, combined with general world events, has just gotten me down. I’m trying to find some positive, to maintain some level of hope, but it’s been so hard. I would love to be all happy and optimistic and everything, but I just can’t seem to muster it.
The stress I’ve been under has made my weight go up, so that causes me more stress. And I’m so tired that I can’t exercise to get the weight off, so that’s more stress. All that stress leaves me basically unable to do any kind of writing or art, so that creates more stress. There are so many other things going on, and it’s all just adding to this unbearable cycle of stress and sadness. And it’s not all for me either. I’m seeing other people fighting and struggling and going through the same things I am or even worse. That causes me more stress, because if no one is willing to help people in even more need than me, what the hell hope is there?
I can’t believe that people can’t even drop $5 on a fundraiser. They won’t even share online, and that’s free. I have a friend and she and her kids could be homeless at the end of the month, but she’s raised a measly $60. The thing is, she’s this totally amazing person who is always helping others, always giving and never asking for anything. She’s done so much for so many people, and those people won’t give her anything now that she’s in trouble. But some guy raised over $55,000 to make fucking potato salad. Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with people? They’ll give money to something stupid like that but not to someone who’s going to be homeless?
I really hoped that people would be more generous. I mean, I have gotten a few hundred dollars, and I’m incredibly grateful for it, but it’s not even close to enough. Other people have gotten even less. And what’s more is that we’re not just begging for handouts while doing nothing. We’re busting our asses trying to make things work for ourselves, trying to earn enough money to cover what we need on our own and have enough for the future too. We’re not trying to leech off strangers, we’re just asking for some help to get us on our feet while we keep working and trying to make our own lives better.
Humanity has so much potential for giving and kindness and cooperation, but people just aren’t doing it. They’re being selfish and heartless and even though they have more than enough to be able to give and help others, they don’t. I don’t understand it. I have tried so hard for so many years to have faith in humanity. I write thing on this blog to try to wake people up and help them be their best. But people are just getting worse. Doesn’t it bother you? Don’t you ever feel guilty that you’re not doing anything good for other people? Does it ever sting to know that poor people who are struggling are doing more for each other and the world than you are? and yes, I’m trowing guilt at you. Maybe it’ll work. People damn well need to be feeling something.
I mean hell, here I am struggling and in need, and *I* felt guilty. I’m asking for something for myself and I felt bad. So what am I doing about it? I have been sharing the hell out of other friend’s fundraisers and blog posts and whatever they need. I’m brainstorming with people to help them get what they need. sure, it means that they may get money and I don’t, but at least someone would be getting something. I’m doing all that I can to help myself and anyone else I see who needs it. I even joined a FaceBook group for fundraisers, and I’ll be tweeting out the other people’s fundraisers to see if I can get them some help. I’m flat damn broke and I’m still doing more than most of the people out there. I’m not saying I’m some super awesome person, but shit, at least I’m trying, which is more than I can say for most of the population right now.
Really, I just want people to think about others for a minute. Giving a little won’t kill you, it won’t even hurt. Be good to other people. Try to imagine how you’d feel if you ended up in a horrible situation and no one did anything for you. Would you like that? Would you feel good about it? maybe you’ll get lucky and never face any hardship in your life. I’d like that for all of you. But it does happen. Treat others that way you would want them to treat you if the tables were turned. Think about how it would feel to be in our shoes. Nobody likes to be in need, but it happens. You can help someone now, and someday it will return to you in kind.