I haven’t done any personal journaling on here in a while, but I can’t think of anything else to write for today’s themes, so this is what I’m doing. I’ve been thinking about doing it more, but you all know how scattered my brain gets. Best laid plans and all that.
What’s on my mind more than anything these last few days is the realization that I have real friends. Like real friends. None of them are near me and I’ve never physically met them. I talked to only one of them on the phone one time. But they are the most real friends I have ever had. My head is spinning and my heart is bursting as they are putting things into my life that I have little understanding of.
Yeah, I’m kind of messed up when it comes to how people should interact with each other. I know it all intellectually, but I don’t have a lot of personal experience. So here I am with these amazing people, talking to me, encouraging me, helping me, just being supportive and kind and incredible in ways that I thought only other people got to experience.
I feel blessed, confused, scared… It’s freaking me out and feeling good at the same time. These people have been indescribably wonderful to me. I haven’t talked too much publicly about my stress these days, but they know, and they have been the best. I don’t know what I’d do without them. They listen, console, offer advice, and are just all around uplifting. In the face of their own wants and troubles, there they are, being good to someone else.
And why do they do it? Because apparently, there are good people out there. They care. I thought I was one of the last people out there who would give to others just because it felt right, because it was kind. Nope, I managed to find others, and we are now all friends. These are the kind of people I always wanted to know, and now I do.
It’s wonderful too, because there’s no money changing hands, no obvious gain or return, often all we get for our time is the knowledge that we’ve been there for the other person. It’s not about what any one of us gets, it’s about what we all give. We do all benefit from knowing each other, but we’re not in it to get something. We trust each other with things no one else knows, we support each other, and it’s pretty damn amazing.
I’ve had a couple good friends in my past, but these guys, they’re another league entirely. I’d give just about anything to be able to gather us all together. I bet we’d have the greatest time. These folks give me hope for humanity. They help keep me going, and they say I provide the same for them. There’s some guilt in me, like, I don’t know, I don’t deserve this? They assure me I do. We all do. Everyone should have people who love them and are there for them.
I am unendingly grateful for my friends. I wish that everyone could know what it feels like to have people who are there for your highs and lows, sharing your laughter and your tears. Good or bad, they’ve got your back. I think we should all try to be that for someone. In person or online, it doesn’t matter. Try to be a good person and a good friend. Give and expect nothing. Love because it’s the right thing to do. You could really make a huge difference in someone’s life.