Think about these terms for a moment: Self Help. Self Improvement. Personal Growth Training. Don’t just read the words, think about them. Pay attention to those words “self” and “personal”. Do you get where I’m going with this? No? Well, let me explain. The reason that most people don’t get the desired results from self-help programs is because they miss what the “self” part really means.
Self help means helping yourself. It sounds so obvious, but that’s the part that people miss. They look for these programs hoping to find something that they can listen to, read or watch that will transform their lives purely from the act of taking in the information. They don’t want to actually do anything, they just want to absorb something that will do all the work for them. There is no such thing. Nothing you can read, listen to or watch will make your life better by itself.
We live in a quick-fix, instant gratification type of society, so people read, listen and watch to program after program, looking for the one that will be a miracle cure for all that ails them and their lives. The thing is, no such thing exists. The whole point of self-help is that you have to help yourself. You take in information, then actively apply that information in your life, every single day. You actually have to do work, you have to make changes, you can’t just read a book and be magically transformed into an amazing person with an amazing life.
Now, some of these “masters” play on that quick-fix mentality and make claims that their program will transform your life, but it’s just a pitch to get your money. Some of them flat out tell people that they’re going to need to do the real work themselves, but people don’t seem to listen. Sadly, you can’t claim that you want to be a better person with a better life, then sit idly, doing nothing different and expect things to change. You have to change yourself, you have to learn and grow, and that’s going to take effort every day for the rest of your life.
If you really want a better life, you need to face the fact that it takes constant effort. No one and no program can do it for you. There is no miracle fix. You have to change your ways of thinking and acting and living or it’s not going to work. I can’t count how many people I’ve seen over the years both in real life and in writings and studies, who consume one program after another, but stay unhappy. They keep looking for the “right” program, not realizing that the reason they don’t find success is because they’re not taking any action. They’re not applying the lessons to truly help themselves. Some other people will try for a short time, then fall back into their old ways and blame the teacher or program for their failure. The simple truth is, it’s their own fault for not being able to commit to making the changes needed.
You don’t need to spend a penny to learn the lessons you need to be a better person, but you do need to put in a lot of effort. You can learn everything you need to know for free, but if you don’t commit to making changes in your life every day, you’ll never get anywhere. You see, that instant gratification mentality is part of what’s wrong with you. Let it go and accept that life takes work, but it’s worth every bit of it. Being a good person in a crazy, messed up world takes energy and dedication and commitment, but it’s the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself. Just remember, nothing in your life will change until you change it, but you can do it. No one else can do it for you.