It’s inevitable that at some point you’re going to look at your life and want to change something. Whether it’s yourself, your job, your living arrangement, your relationship or something else, you’re going to see that what you have isn’t in your best interest, and you’re going to want to make a change for the better. Sometimes you just want something new in your life. When we think of change there’s one question that usually comes to mind very early on: How am I going to do that? For example, you may know that the job you have doesn’t make you happy or doesn’t pay enough, so you want to make a change. One of the first things most people ask themselves is “How?”. What they fail to realize is that the “how” isn’t nearly as important as they think. In all reality, the how can get you so hung up that you never make the change.
When you start asking (using the example) how you’ll get a new job, a whole slew of limiting thoughts tend to rush in alongside the answers.
-I could start applying for new jobs. ~ But I don’t have the time for that. I’m not qualified enough.
-I could ask around and see if anyone’s looking for someone like me. ~ That’ll make me look desperate. I don’t know who to ask.
-I could go into business for myself. ~ You can’t make money doing what you love. No one gets paid to do that.
And on and on it goes.
Sometimes you need to think less about how you’re going to get what you want, and focus on what it is you really want. Think about it, dream about it, learn about it, feel it. Live in the ideas of having what you want. Many times, the “how” that you’d otherwise be stressing over will present itself to you. Maybe you want a new job and while looking at a site about the thing you love to do, you’ll see an advertisement for a job in that field. Maybe you want more money and while you’re dream shopping for the things you want to buy you’ll get inspired to sell some of your old things to afford it. Maybe you want to write something, and while you’re browsing around your favorite sites you get hit with a rush of inspiration. Sometimes not thinking about the how is exactly the way to get that question answered.
A perfect example was a year ago when I was really worried about making money. I had been searching and searching and asking myself “How am I going to make this money?” I was completely stressed and driving myself (and everyone around me) crazy. Eventually I’d had all I could take and I decided to just take some time to de-stress and relax, and see what life might bring to me. I told myself that there had to be an answer, and if I just opened my eyes and my mind, it would come to me.
Just a couple of days later I was browsing my news feed on FaceBook. A saw a status message from someone who rarely ever showed up in my feed. She was someone I liked and trusted, and she’s very respected in her field. She was promoting a new writing site. I trusted her, so I clicked on the link. Three days later I was working for the site and earning money, which quickly built and solved my cash flow needs. I had stopped stressing over the how, and there it was, offered to me when I least expected it. Recently the same thing happened again. When that site ceased to fit my needs last month, there was a moment when I stressed over how I was going to keep making money. I let go of trying to figure out how, and in the middle of a shower I got the idea to move all my content here to the blog and forge my own path to success.
I’m not saying we should never wonder how we’re going to get what we want or need, but if finding the how feels stressful or difficult, it may be better to take a step back and try another way. Think about the positives that either exist right now or will exist once you have what you want. Really get into the thoughts of it and allow yourself to become happily absorbed. Or, just let it all go and enjoy life for a while. The universe has a way of bringing us what we need, and often fighting to find it only keeps it further away because of those limiting thoughts I mentioned earlier. When you focus too hard on “how”, you start also focusing on all the ways that the hows you come up with won’t work. When you let go and let it come to you, you’ll often just be swept up in the right answer and things will flow to you.