I remember a time in my life when I was envious of many people. I saw the lives they had, the things they had, the relationships they had, and I wanted it for myself. It didn’t take long to go from envy to hate. I hated them for having what I didn’t. That hate turned to ill-will. I wanted them to suffer like I did, to lose those things I envied. If I couldn’t have them, they shouldn’t either.
Now, it was many years ago that I realized what a toxic way of thinking that was and I began working to change my thoughts. Unfortunately, some people life in that cycle of jealousy/hate/ill will. And what’s possibly worse is all the people who insist they don’t hate or want bad things for the people they envy, when their words and actions show otherwise. They don’t even see the vicious cycle they’re in.
You should never feel envy toward anyone. I know, that sounds hard at first. They have something or someone you want. That hurts, it stirs up feelings. Here’s the trick though. When you see someone with something you don’t have, wish them well and want your own.
For example: You’re feeling jealous because your friend is getting married to a wonderful partner at a lavish wedding but you’re poor and without a partner. You can feel the jealousy and resentment creeping in. Take a breath. Remind yourself that your friend deserves happiness. Be happy for them. smile and share their happiness. Think about how amazing it will be when you have your own true love and your own big day. Believe that it will happen for you when the time is right.
People get so tied up in being envious of someone else’s house or car or love life or income or success or whatever… There’s no need for it. let it go. Stop measuring yourself on someone else’s ruler. Live your life, pursue your own happiness instead of wanting someone elses. And never allow yourself to wish for someone to lose what they have simply because you don’t have it. Those who share happiness attain more happiness, but those who share bitterness and resentment only get more of the same.