I woke up early this morning with my heart pounding, looking around the room trying to find Eric. I was absolutely certain he was trying to wake me up. Turns out, no one was there and I was just having one of those super freaky uber-realistic dreams again.
Sometimes the technicolor, surround sound, smell-o-vision dreams can be awesome. Sometimes they’re about something great and it’s just like really being there. I like those ones. Unfortunately, I don’t have those very often. What I do get are the ones that cause me to wake up with my heart racing like a rabbit, my chest tight and I’ so disoriented that it feels like a panic attack. Those suck.
Last night’s was weird. Often I have some level of awareness of the fact that I’m dreaming. It’s something I’ve worked on for a long time to combat nightmares. So, I was dreaming this dream and semi-aware, but not really. I was stumbling around in the dark in some place. it was both familiar and unfamiliar. It was like I was drunk but I knew I wasn’t. Was I really tired? Drugged maybe?
I fell into a door and someone yelled at me, I don’t remember what they said now. I fell to the floor holding my foot. I hadn’t stubbed my toe, but I was acting like I did so I’d have an excuse if they came out. I knew something was wrong because I’d never make false excuses like that. Why not tell them the truth? What was the truth?
The door was right beside an elevator. In the pitch I have no idea how I knew that. I think I was trying to get to the elevator. I stumbled and fell into a room against a low bed. A mattress on the floor really. Someone was tossing around under a black and white comforter. Then I heard Eric’s voice “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this. Bri. Bri! BRI!” and then I woke up.
It took me a while to realize no one was there. I was straining to see in the dark and feeling around for someone. I was alone. I hate dreams like that. Do you ever have those kind of dreams?