I was reading someone’s post recently and they said that they hate being called “unique” They said that all they want in life is to fit in and be “normal”, they don’t want to stand out or be unusual in any way. I couldn’t help thinking how incredibly sad that mentality is.
Why would anyone want to be like everyone else? I’ve realized through a lot of observation and personal experience that you can never fit in. You can never be “normal” because normal is always changing, and it’s usually something that goes against what we truly feel inside. No matter how much you give up your sense of self, no matter how much you try to be like others, your chances of success are slim to none. Look at really close cliques and you’ll see that even there, people are bickering and arguing and calling each other wrong or posers.
I tried fitting in in the past, it was miserable. Most of the population is FUBAR, so being like them means lowering your intelligence, going against your better nature, being willing to change everything you do and are at the drop of a hat and never being your own person. Who could ever want to live like that? I was young and stupid, I’m not anymore. Now, I want to be ME, whatever that means. I WANT to be unique. I WANT to be unlike anyone else. I want to be my own special, individual being, not a duplicate of what someone else says I should be.
Granted, figuring out who you are and making that work isn’t always easy. You have to develop a pretty high level of not giving a sh!t, while still being a good person. Sometimes that’s a serious challenge. I suppose for a weaker person conformity might seem easier, but I think once you’ve had a taste of personal strength and individualism, you can’t ever go back and you wouldn’t really want to. And the thing is, trying to conform may seem like a good idea, but a lot of people find that it just leads to a life of misery because if you’re not being who you really are, you’re being fake, and everyone can see it, even the ones you’re trying to conform to.
People have the right to make their own life choices, for better or worse, but I always encourage people to look inside themselves, figure out who they are, and be that. Screw what anyone else says or thinks. When you’re true to yourself more people like you. When you start trying to become something else, it’s like a neon poser sign and everyone sees it. And try though you may, it’s damn near impossible to become the fully mindless automaton that you’d have to be for true conformity. That pretty much involves brainwashing. Is that what you really want?
And don’t forget that “normal” is in a constant state of flux. It’s just what’s considered average and acceptable right now, within a certain set of boundaries. It’s different from place to place and person to person, so it’s basically a fully unattainable concept. If you’re normal for one set of people, you’re still abnormal to another. it is physically and mentally impossible to fully conform or to be considered acceptable to everyone, or even the majority really. So why bother trying?
I’d rather spend my energy on being the best me that I can be and let the rest of the world do and say what it wants. My days of trying to fit in are over. Trying to conform to other people’s ideas and desires and make other people happy is a waste of time and energy. If I’m the real me, people will find me that want to be near someone like me. It’s a lot easier than the alternative. And anyway, why would I want to be around people who want me to be someone other than myself?