This is a post that I made trying to explain to people the difference between being “dark” and being “negative”. I hope that it helps you understand the difference, and maybe if you’re struggling, you can use this to help explain it to someone else.
I’m Dark, Not Evil.
I was having a conversation with a friend a few days ago… We were talking about the fact that I have a hard time getting along with some people because I really get annoyed with what I call “fluffy bunny” people. You know the ones I mean; the ones that are all sunshine and puppies and everything is so shiny and great. I don’t have a problem with people being that way; I just can’t be around it too much. Candy is great, but if you eat it for hours on end, you’re bound to get sick.
Anyway, we came to a stumbling point in the conversation. That point was when I was (on a day with a headache and little sleep) trying to explain that being “dark” doesn’t mean being negative. He said that his perception of people like me is that we are negative. That upsets me, because it’s not as simple as positive and negative, and that’s not all there is anyway. I’m still not feeling terribly eloquent, but I’m going to take a stab at explaining what I’m about, and the kind of people I’m wanting to connect with.
Here goes… Ok… Being “dark”, “goth”, whatever you want to call it, does NOT have to mean you’re a “negative” person. I want nothing more than to be happy. The thing is, people like me find happiness in different things. Let me compare and contrast some “fluffy” vs. “dark” happy thoughts and situations:
**Fluffy likes to walk by the river on a bright sunny day. Dark likes to walk by the river under the light of a full moon
**Fluffy likes the sounds of chirping birds, squirrels, and yipping puppies. Dark likes the sound of night frogs, crickets, bats and owls.
**Fluffy thinks a sale at JC Penny is awesome. Dark thinks a sale at Hot Topic is awesome.
**Fluffy thinks a rainy, stormy day is depressing. Dark thinks it beautiful, especially the lightning.
I think you get the idea. Believe it or not, both sides can have a lot in common. For example, I love nature. I enjoy being outside and around animals. I just want to do it at night, or on an overcast day, as opposed to a bright sunshiny one. I guess I’m a hippy goth too, since I’m all about the legalization of marijuana, and the use of herbal remedies instead of synthetic chemicals. I believe in feeding the hungry, I just think we should feed the people here rather than in other countries. I believe in protecting animals, and creating a healthy environment for children.
My friend brought up something else… He said we “dark” folks seem negative because we’re always talking about what’s wrong in the world. I can’t speak for all of us, but for me, there’s a reason. I talk about and blog about what’s wrong in the world, because I want people to think about it. Some of the “fluffy” folks like to act like the world is all peaches and daisies. I believe in being honest with yourself and the world around you. Acting like everything is all sweetness and light does not make it so. I don’t talk about things because I like them, I do it because people need to think about the state of things, and if they get emotional about it, maybe they’ll actually do something, instead of sweeping it under the carpet and hoping it’ll go away.
I know there are some people in the “dark” set that are all about the gloom and doom. I think they might be what’s being called “emo” now. I’m not totally sure. I’m not like that, nor are most of the people I’ve met in the past who actually understood and liked me.
I’m not sure if I’m getting my point across here. I hope I am. Feel free to comment and add your thoughts or questions. Maybe it’ll help people understand. It just upsets me that people don’t get me. I’m not negative. I’m not against happiness. Just because I like horror better than comedy, or metal better than pop, or night better than day, doesn’t make me some gloomy negative person. I love to dance and laugh and have a good time. I just do it differently than some others.
What I really want and need is to find other people like me. I think that’s one of the reasons I’m unhappy… not many people get me, and I can’t stand pretending to be something I’m not to fit in with the masses. I can be around “fluffy” people for a while, but it’s human nature, we all want to find people that share our thoughts and feelings, people that like to do what we like to do, and enjoy the things we enjoy. I want to find people who like vampires and horror movies, hard rock and ambient goth, black clothes and long walks under the moon. I want to be around people who accept that the world is messed up, and feel that something needs to be done about it. I want to be around freaks and geeks who don’t judge on appearance, don’t hide who they are to fit in, and who can both tell and take the truth, even when it hurts.
Well, I hope I’ve made it a little clearer now. If not, chime in. Ask questions. Add your point of view. And if you’re one of the “dark” ones out there, feel free to add me as a friend or contact me. I’d love to make some new friends. Now I think I’m going to go listen to some Claire Voyant and relax for a while 😉
**EDIT** One thing I almost forgot… Odd too, since it’s one of the things that gets on my nerves. There is polarity in everything. Light and dark. Good and evil. Joy and sadness. There have been people that said I need to “just act happy”, and that things will never work for someone like me. Hate to break it to folks, but I’m part of the natural spectrum. If you were never sad, being happy wouldn’t mean anything. If there was no night, all the days would seem the same. If everyone were all sunshine and flowers, the world would be one heck of a boring place.