If you’ve been reading my “You’re Not Alone” series, you know that I’m a survivor. I encourage everyone to become a survivor. Unfortunately, many people don’t understand the difference between being a victim and being a survivor.
When something bad happens to you or is done to you, you’re a victim. You have been victimized by someone. However, you’re only a victim for as long as you choose to be. At any time you can decide to become a survivor. A survivor is someone who has conquered, or is conquering, the damage that has been done to them.
For example, someone who’s been raped is a victim. She remains a victim as long as she lets what the rapist did to her to continue having a negative impact on her life. The day she decides that she’s not going to let them win and that she’s going to find her strength and live her life in spite of what’s happened, she becomes a survivor. You can become a survivor of anything that has happened to you, you just need to make that choice.
Some people stay in the victim mentality for their entire lives. The tragedies of their past color their entire future. They keep victimizing themselves day after day. They let the abuser, rapist or whomever maintain control over them. the thing is, that’s what violent crimes like molestation, rape and beating are about. Control. They WANT to have power over you long after the act is done. When you stay in the victim mentality, they win, and they like it.
I refuse to be a victim. I am a survivor and will always be one. I will never allow my abusers to have any more power over me. They’ve done enough. And there are few things more powerful than looking into the eyes of someone who abused you and telling them they’ve lost. You’re a survivor and nothing they do will ever hurt you again.