I have a lot that I need to write, and I’m trying to do it the best I can. I know that it’s going to dredge up some painful things. I know that it’s not going to be easy, but it’s time for it to be done.
What occurs to me is that despite all the hell I’ve been through and all the ugliness I’ve seen, I can still see beauty. I can still feel love and have hope. Some people are ruined by the hardships of their lives, while others grow and thrive. I’d never lie and say my journey was easy, or that it will be easy for you, but I will say that it can happen.
Eric is making sure that I take breaks and eat and take care of myself during this process. I am so grateful to have a partner who can and will be there for me through something that may well be an emotional roller coaster. He may not be perfect, but he is, at times, one of those beautiful things in the world.
As are all the animals that we keep seeing when we go out on the deck for breaks. Even with all the pain and tragedy I’ve known, and maybe because of it, I can be brought nearly to tears by the sight of the blue jays, cardinals, cats, squirrels and egrets that frequent our property. I sometimes lose track of the world as I watch them carry out their wondrous little lives. It’s amazing and incredible in ways many never realize.
No matter how bad your life is, please remember to see the beauty. Don’t get mired in the blackness of it all. There is light and wonder, you just need to look for it. Sometimes, it’s that simple beauty that will keep you alive another day, and help you make it until you can become who you need to be.