Something hit me today like a brick to the head. An idea I’ve been dancing with for years has finally coalesced. Like a slap to the face, today the Universe said “Now is the time!”
I’m trembling right now and my heart is racing. There’s fear, hope, anticipation and emotions I’m not sure there are even words for. So what is affecting me so deeply? I’ve realized that now is the time to write my life story. It’s probably long overdue, but I guess the Universe decided I’m really ready to do it now.
Why would writing my life story be a big deal? It’s a big deal because I have been through kinds of hell that many of you would struggle to comprehend. I have been mentally, physically and sexually abused. I have been poor, sick, bullied, raped and suicidal. I’ve been an alcoholic and a drug addict. But after all of that, I have become a caring, compassionate, intelligent, beautiful and amazing human being.
However, I need to emphasize and make it clear that this isn’t about me. Yes, I’m telling my story, but I’m not going to be telling it for me. Sure, you’ll get a very deep understanding of who I am, what I came from and why I am who I am today. But this isn’t for me. This is for everyone else out there who hasn’t gotten through it yet. This is for those who are still suffering. This is for those of you who can help them.
I’ve been through hell and back, but I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I’ve grown through it. I want my story to show you that you’re not alone if you’re going through your own hell. I want my story to wake you up so that you see the suffering of others and do something to help rather than turning a blind eye or telling them to get over it. I want my story to give people hope that they too can overcome.
So don’t feel bad for me, I have no need for pity. See me as a light, a piece of hope. I came out the other side, better for all that I’ve been through. See me as your awakening to the pain of others, and an example of the love you can give them. See me as a real person, a fighter and survivor. Know that you’re not alone in your pain. Know that you can help those who are in pain. I hope to inspire and save, not to have people crying for the poor abused girl I used to be.
Now, I have no idea how this will play out. I’m going to try to start at the beginning, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll maintain chronological order. I also have no idea how I’ll break it down. Some parts of my life will require far more than a page to discuss. If you hate long articles, you’ll either have to skip this series or learn to have some patience. it’ll be worth it if you stick with it.
I’m going to try to do more than just tell you about my horrible life. I’m going to try to express what I’ve learned from it, and what people can do to see when it’s happening to others and stop it. This is intended to help people who are suffering, and also get those who aren’t suffering to open their eyes and help those who are. So these stories will have a point, they’re not going to be posted just to break your heart.
I hope you’ll read this series. I hope that you’ll learn and grow from it. I really want teens and women to read this, because if I can do it right, it’s going to be of great help to them. Men should read too though, you’ll get some real understanding of the suffering of teens and women and see the world from a very different perspective.
My love to all of you. You’re not alone.