Weird title, right? Well, I’m weird. You should be used to that by now. The title means something though. It’s a product I’d like to see created.
“She said what now??” Yup, I want someone to make finger-shaped bacon-flavored chew toys. Oh, and I want them to be for people, not pets. They need to have some sort of bone in them too. Yeah, that would be totally awesome.
See, here’s the thing… I like to bite. And to chew. Fingers are awesome for that. They fit well in the mouth and gnawing at the bone is extremely satisfying. Unfortunately, one’s own hand can get a bit sore, and for some unknown reason, other people don’t often take kindly to being chewed on. I can’t imagine why, but hey, that’s people for ya. So, chew toys for people would be great.
They’d have to have some fleshy texture, and a bone-like product inside. Something to provide that resistance and give a satisfying snap when you get in there. It would need to be totally edible, and preferably not too fattening. Bacon would be my choice of flavor, but they could come in varieties for when you want to change it up.
Believe it or not, I’m dead serious about this. I’d totally buy them if anyone made them. If someone out there is creative enough to make something like this, I’ll not only buy some, but help you market them to others. “Finger Snaps” or “Digit Delights” might be a catchy name. At any rate, I know I’m not the only person who has a thing for chewing, so it would be a really cool thing for someone to come up with.
Oh, before anyone suggests it, I’ve tried jerky. It’s alright, but doesn’t really cut it. The texture is wrong, as is the lack of bone.