I thought that I had this whole feminism thing out of my system, but apparently I don’t. There are still things cropping up that are bothering me.
Shortly before I made the first post live, I realized that I hadn’t talked about the feminist double-standard I’ve been seeing regarding beauty. For a while, feminism was teaching women to liberate themselves by ditching bras and corsets, then makeup and sexualized attire. It was all about being you, being taken seriously and not being something specifically tailored to fit men’s sexual desires. Now though, I’m seeing more and more supposed feminists pushing women to wear sexy clothes and put on makeup. The idea is that wearing sexy clothes accentuates out femininity, and refusing to be treated as sex objects at the same time asserts more of our power. Likewise, donning makeup is now supposed to be a way to show that we love and care for ourselves. A clean face isn’t good enough anymore, if we love ourselves, we’ll paint ourselves up because otherwise we’re lazy and insecure. I don’t know if there are just some incredibly loud and crazy women out there calling themselves feminists,or if this is really the overall belief that now, somehow, confidence comes in makeup and stilettos while screaming NO to every man that thinks we’re hot. Much like the other issues I mentioned before, it feels a lot like choice being taken away and certain ideals being set as the way we should be.
Then there’s the whole “sexual liberation” part of feminism. This is where apparently we gain power by having sex with whom we want, when we want, treating marriage and commitment like oppressive diseases, and somehow also not being seen as promiscuous whores while doing it. That whole scene makes no sense to me. It’s a far cry from “my body belongs to me” and not feeling obligated to be sex objects. It’s basically saying you’re supposed to be super sexual and sexually aggressive, and yet men should treat you like a lady and respect you. Apparently, if you want to keep your relationships to a minimum and get married and settle down, you’re living an unempowered lifestyle and being held down by the patriarchy. It’s somehow disrespectful for men to want to have lots of sex with lots of women and not get tied down and just have fun, but it’s empowering and liberated when women do it. Men are pigs for that behavior, but women aren’t sluts. *sigh* And the double-standards just keep on coming.
I tell you, I kind of hope that this is the last of my issues on this topic for now. It’s taking up a lot of my thoughts. The thing is, I had to share. Maybe someone will comment and provide their thoughts, experiences, some clarity, or something. There’s the potential for someone to come along and tear me a new one for being a bad feminist, but hey, that’s what delete buttons are for. I do always want people to think though. You don’t need to think the way I do, you just need to actually think about things. Question what’s going on in the world. Decide for yourself if a label is one you really want to be associated with. Make educated choices about the life you live. And remember, nothing is all good. Even the things that seem best have their flaws. I suppose that’s why I’m questioning the feminist movement. There’s good, there’s bad, do I want to be part of it? Do I go all-in or just support the parts I actually think are right? Whatever I choose, I’m the one who has to live with it and feel good about it. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s probably worth taking a harder look at.