I write because I love it. Yes, I want to make money, but I’m not all about the almighty dollar. I want this to be how I make my living, but I’m not really interested in compromising who I am just to keep people reading my work.
There are a lot of things that I think about writing, but then I don’t. The voice in my head says things like “That’s going to start trouble”, “You shouldn’t go there”, “People will think you’re crazy” and so on. Sometimes I manage to tell it to shut the hell up and I write anyway, but there are certain topics that I don’t delve into because of those thoughts. It actually aggravates the hell out of me.
I’m working on myself constantly, and gaining the confidence to write what I want when I want is part of that. I know there are people out there who will say you “have to” write for the reader and you “must” consider the audience, but they’re just turning their beliefs and preferences into “rules” that aren’t actually rules. People can do whatever they want to do, there’s not actually a right or wrong way.
I’m typically a pretty confident person. It took me a long time to get here, but I did it. I do not like the feeling I get when I refrain from writing because it might tick someone off or because it might make me look “crazy” to someone who doesn’t even have the qualifications to make that determination. I’m better than this! I need to snap out of it and write what needs to be written.
I keep trying to remind myself that even if some people do stop reading because of something I say or a topic I cover, there are always more to replace them. There are a lot of people in the world. There will always be more readers, so why stress? I’m the master of my own life, I can’t let myself become miserable because I’m trying to please replaceable people who don’t even matter in the grand scheme of things.
I guess some days you just need to give yourself a good kick in the ass and remind yourself of who you are and what you want out of life.