Your Perception of Me is a Reflection of You - BrianaDragon Creations

Your Perception of Me is a Reflection of You

Woman Mirror Face Reflection - Image: Public Domain, Pixabay
Posted by / May 12, 2014 / 5 Comments

I saw a quote today. “Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me.” I’m not sure about the source of the quote unfortunately, but it got me to thinking, and really, almost to crying. It makes me think of my life, and of many people that I’ve encountered.

I have been judged so harshly by so many people. I have been called ugly, fat, stupid, lazy, unworthy, bitch, whore, leech, addict, waste and so many other things. Few of those things have ever been true. People look on me (and others) with these eyes for insult. They scan, looking at every aspect, not to praise or find goodness, but to find things to hate and degrade. They seek only to tear others down.

And that quote… It’s a reflection of you. Just because you say I’m ugly doesn’t mean I am. What it does mean is that you take pleasure in hurting others, in making them feel less about themselves. It means you don’t love yourself enough to be a kind person. It means you’re looking for something to call out in others so that for some moment you can gain a false sense of superiority. Congratulations, you all must be so proud of that.

I won’t lie and say I’ve never fallen into this trap. I have. I let the masses make me think it was okay, but it’s not. I sometimes have to remind myself how much it hurts, how the names and the judgments sting like hot needles in your heart. How they wiggle deep into your mind, scratching, ripping, injuring self-esteem and coloring everything you see and feel. It’s evil. It’s like giving someone an incurable disease just by opening your mouth.

It took longer for me to learn not to judge others harshly and speak ill of them than it did for me to learn how to react to them. More accurately, how not to react to them. I had to teach myself that just because someone else says it, doesn’t make it true. I’ve been called a slut, but I can count all my lovers without running out of fingers and I loved most of them dearly. I’ve been called stupid, but I was in advanced classes, have a degree and have more skills than I know what to do with. I’ve been called ugly, but that’s so subjective as to be laughable.

I had to remember that it’s just their opinion, and often a skewed one. I am what I believe I am. That only changes if I let it. I can be what others think I am, or I can be myself. When I grasped onto that I learned to let the insults slide off my back. I started to sometimes smile, because I was silently reminding myself of how their words were so untrue. Sometimes I feel sad though, because they must be so broken inside to feel the need to hurt me or anyone else.

Be aware of your words. What you say matters. Become aware of the negative things you think about others, and more importantly, how many of them you let slip past your lips. Why do you see and look for the worst in others? Why don’t you look for the best? Why not find something good to say about someone? Do you have any concept of how positively it can change someone’s day to receive a compliment or encouragement? Do you realize how negatively insults affect them? Think about how those words would make you feel. Choose your words wisely. What you say to others shows the world who you really are.

About Briana Blair

Artist, writer, ordained interfaith minister, Dr. of Metaphysics and passionate oddball. I love to create, and I love bringing knowledge and joy to others. I've been an artist for 35 years, a writer for 26 and a Pagan for 22. And I'm just getting started!
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5 Comments

    UserR

    I hate that old saying “They’re only words” when words are one of the most powerful tools, and weapons, that there are. Words stick with us for a long time, and the sharper and harsher they are, the more they sting and the longer they linger. I’m glad you were able to finally overcome all of the nastiness that you were subjected to for so many years. No human being should have to take that sort of abuse, and no human being should allow him or her self to treat another human being that way. There is a major movement that I’ve been seeing to build up the positive energy in our world before the negativity overruns it. I just hope that the positiveness succeeds. I just do my part each day to see that I spread as much positive energy as I possibly can.

      Briana Blair

      Words are so powerful. They can make or break a person, especially over time.

      I’m trying to be part of that movement too, and trying to spread it. Sometimes it’s a constant battle to not think negative things. Thank goodness I’ve gotten better at not saying them. It’s okay to slip, but not to have negativity as a way of life.

      It’s odd to me too, so many people who’ve had hard lives, or think they have, think that gives them just cause to hurt others verbally, emotionally or physically. It doesn’t. It’s like the saying, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” You can’t cure hurt with more hurt, only with love. People think that sounds hokey and stupid, but it’s the truth. Being hurt should make you never want to be the source of that feeling for any other human being, ever. Stumble though I may, I try to give people all the love and support that I never had. It pays in kind too. It really does come back when you really need it.

    Zeana Romanovna

    Very powerful article, Briana. It touched me very deeply as all I have seen from you is a very kind and giving person. I often wonder how many people know that in name calling, not only are they reflecting what they themselves are inside, but they are also emotionally abusing another, and each time they do this, well, in my opinion it’s like selling part of ones own soul to harm another, and I don’t mean that in a religious sense.

    Like Richard, I try to do my part of doing my absolute best to put positives out into the world, but like you I have been judged very wrongly in the past and it hurts beyond words at the time.

    Whoever called you ugly needs their eyes tested 🙂 – you’re not ugly either emotionally or physically.

    Thank you for an article that I’m sure so many people will relate to!

    -Zeana

    Dan

    The quote is from Bobbi Chegwyn by the way.

    Engela

    Wow. This is so true. With your words here, you made me realise that I am not a bad person at all. I will alway keep these words in my heart and in my mind. Thank you

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