A lot of what sank in for me last night and today revolves around what I know I am, what I want to become, what other people think I am, and the vast differences between those things. It’s not exactly easy to present your true self, true motives and everything else through a written medium. it’s actually quite hard.
Just the way words can be misunderstood and misperceived, as I wrote about in a previous article, people as a whole can be. One person looking at another can get a completely different idea of who that person is that what they really are. Where the fault lies depends on the people, but it is usually an issue on both sides.
I, like many people, tend to be more guarded than I should be. I’ve been hurt, laughed at, disrespected, and those things make me want to keep parts of myself hidden, covered with a façade that I feel people will respond to better. I try to be what I want them to see, rather than just being myself and letting it go at that.
Also, when one person looks at another, everything they see is colored by their own experiences, values and ideas. Seven people could look at the same individual, hear them speak and watch their actions, and come up with seven different ideas of who that person is. More than likely that all have it partly right, and without doubt they all have part of it wrong.
Fear is usually what makes us not present ourselves as we truly are. We all, at least for a time, try to fit in. We want to be respected, we want to be seen in a certain light. We’re afraid of being raw and bare and real. What will people think? How will they react? What if they don’t like me? What if their opinions impede my future? there are a million what-ifs, but I’m coming to realize that they don’t matter.
You can’t live your life trying to account for every misconception that every other person may ever have. No matter who you are, how you act or what you say, there are going to be people who see it and take it wrong. There will always be people who will see you how they want to, through the eyes of their own issues, no matter who you are. You just have to be yourself and love yourself and let the rest of the world sort themselves out.