The Relationship is Over, Please Move On

Posted by / July 9, 2013 / 0 Comments


Image: Public Domain, Morguefile

Image: Public Domain, Morguefile

When I was in high school, I had a stalker. It was pretty creepy and I’ve never forgotten how uncomfortable and scary it can be to have someone so “in love” with you that they just won’t leave you alone.

I was young and stupid and dated a guy for a while who had some real issues. I didn’t know it in the beginning, I just thought he liked me. Eventually he only seemed to want me for sex, and he was really possessive and always following me around. I broke up with him after a handful of months, but this guy would just not let it go.

He started coming by my house at night. My Great grandmother threatened to shoot him for lurking around the property. He also followed me to my classes, and sometimes even claimed to have been sent to fetch me by the office, and would get me out of class. I kept telling him to leave me alone and eventually informed my teachers. When I got a new boyfriend, he was frequently standing around watching, and even tried interfering.

Years later I found out that he was so obsessed that he’d started dating another girl with the same name as me and had a child with her. When I came back to the state for a visit, now in my mid 20’s, he tracked me down and asked me to move in with him and raise the child he’d had with her. It was no surprise to find out that he’d done a stint in a nearby mental institution while I was away.

Sadly, this isn’t just something that happens in high school. Grown people pull the same kinds of things. It’s a sign of serious mental issues if you can’t let someone go. If they left you, they didn’t want you. You need to let it go and move on. Maybe they just weren’t right for you, or maybe you had issues that drove them away. Instead of trying to get back someone who doesn’t love you, work on your issues, learn to love yourself and find someone new who’ll be right for you.

Stalking is creepy and unhealthy. It’s not going to convince the person that you love them, it will only make them believe that you’re crazy. If you’re meant to be together, somewhere down the line you’ll find each other again. If not, so be it. Either way, you need to let go and move on with your life, and let them move on with theirs.

About Briana Blair

Artist, writer, ordained interfaith minister, Dr. of Metaphysics and passionate oddball. I love to create, and I love bringing knowledge and joy to others. I've been an artist for 35 years, a writer for 26 and a Pagan for 22. And I'm just getting started!

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