I Taught My Bird the Best Command Ever!

Posted by / May 29, 2013 / 0 Comments

Home + Pets

Image: © Briana Blair

Image: © Briana Blair

Most good pet owners will teach their bird a few little commands such as “up”, “perch”, or “swing”. I’m a good pet owner, but by no means a normal one. being the oddball that I am (And Stoli is just like his mama in that regard) I taught my bird the best command ever. “Poop.”

Yes, I taught Stoli to poop on command. See, if you know anything about birds you’ll know that they relieve themselves about every 20 minutes. You have no idea when that 20 minute spot is coming. Because of that, getting pooped on is pretty common when you have a bird. Needing to change your shirt because of the wet, white splorp dripping down your shoulder can get annoying. I decided I was going to try doing something about it.

If you pay attention, birds do this little fluff-and-squat right before they go. You can see it coming if you’re watching them. So every time I saw him hit that pose I’d say “Poop!” He’d tilt his head and look at me, obviously processing mommy’s new word. After a while, when I hoped he’d come to associate the word and the action, I’d pick him up and say “Poop?” I also made the “plbbbttt” noise. I’d wait. And wait. then when he did his business, I’d say “Poop!” and “Good boy!” and then he’d get shoulder.

After a while he got to where I’d pick him up, say “Poop?”, and he’d go! he got shoulder a lot faster, and that’s one of his favorite things. I’ve stopped doing the “plbbbttt” noise, but he managed to pick it up and now makes the sound himself. He did not, however, start saying poop. Thank heaven for small favors. But now I almost never get pooped on.

He’s also gotten to the point where if he is on my shoulder and has to go, he’ll waddle over to the very end of my shoulder and plop over the edge, rather than on me. He almost never gets it on me anymore. I’m quite happy about that.

The photo up there is of Stoli. Don’t worry, that wasn’t poop position, it was the puff that comes with being very close to sleep.

About Briana Blair

Artist, writer, ordained interfaith minister, Dr. of Metaphysics and passionate oddball. I love to create, and I love bringing knowledge and joy to others. I've been an artist for 35 years, a writer for 26 and a Pagan for 22. And I'm just getting started!

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