I'm Not the Person I Used to Be - BrianaDragon Creations

I’m Not the Person I Used to Be

Posted by / April 8, 2013 / 0 Comments

Image: © Briana Blair

Image: © Briana Blair 2001

I wasn’t always the person I am now. As a matter of fact, I used to be a pretty crappy person. I literally woke up one day, looked in the mirror, and realized that I hated myself. I decided on that day to start working to be the person I could and should be, instead of a walking, talking representation of all the sh!t that had happened in my life.

The people closest to me, the ones who have seen me regularly over these many years of transformation, are proud of the changes I’ve made. They have seen my progress and are happy for me. They treat me the way the new me deserves to be treated. They only look back to see how amazing my growth has been.

However, I’ve lost a lot of people or had to cut people out of my life because for some reason, they have never been able to see me as anything but who I was back then. I’ve changed a lot. I mean a LOT, and for the better. I get why people didn’t like me back then and had a very negative perception of me. I was a crappy human being. I didn’t know it then, and no one cared enough to tell me and help me, but I did figure it out and work on those issues. So why have they never been able to see the changes? Why do they still see the old me?

Image: © Briana Blair

Image: © Briana Blair 2013

This happens to a lot of people. They have issues, they realize it, and they change into better people, but people always see them as what they were before. It’s like if you’ve been poor, people always look at you as someone who was poor, even if you’re not anymore. They still see the fatso in the thin person, the angry in the now calm, the ugly in the now attractive. Why can’t they see what you’ve become rather than holding on to what you were?

It’s like people are obsessed with the negativity. They’d rather see you when you were low, when you were less, and keep treating you that way than see the glowing new you and embrace it with pride and joy. Is it because your growth and change makes them feel bad for living lousy, stagnant lives? Does it threaten them that you’ve moved on to a new level that they haven’t reached?

I’ve come to the conclusion that some people just refuse to see truth. They hold on to the worst of whatever they’ve seen and never let it go. I’ve gotten used to saying goodbye to people who can’t accept and appreciate what I’ve become and all I had to go through to get here.

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About Briana Blair

Artist, writer, ordained interfaith minister, Dr. of Metaphysics and passionate oddball. I love to create, and I love bringing knowledge and joy to others. I've been an artist for 35 years, a writer for 26 and a Pagan for 22. And I'm just getting started!
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