I was sitting here thinking about how I haven’t met the goals I want for my life yet. As that was running through my head and I was trying to think of how to get where I want to be, I started thinking about all that I have done. What’s more, I started thinking of how no one thought I would.
Growing up I was constantly told that I was stupid, ugly, useless, worthless and I’d never amount to anything. I’d never have success or anything good in my life, because I was just living, breathing suck. Yes, I had a seriously fucked up childhood. I may not be rich and famous yet, but I can say for certain I’ve done more than any of them thought I would, and without a doubt more than any of them ever has or ever will.
Let’s just take a cursory glance:
- I’ve written 24 books and have several more in the works
- I’ve published 23 books and I’m sure I’ll put out more. Many people write but never get so far as having their books out in the world.
- I’ve sold over 750 copies of my books. That may not be an award-winning number, but it’s more than some people ever get.
- I’ve created well over 1000 pieces of art. That’s just counting the stuff I’ve done in the last 7 years, the number would be much higher if I tried to figure what I’ve done in my whole life.
- I’ve put my art on nearly 100,000 items across 6 online shops. That’s no small feat, as any POD user knows.
- I’ve sold over 900 products featuring my art. Again, not killer numbers, but more than a lot of POD sellers ever get.
- I’ve created hundreds of pieces of jewelry.
- I’ve sold at least 100 pieces of jewelry and accessories. God knows how many sales I’ve made if you counted all the crafts I’ve ever done.
- I’m an ordained minister with an MsD.
And those are just my business accomplishments, and not even all of them. I may not have come as far as I’d like in the time it’s taken, but I’ve done a lot. I’ve accomplished more than any of those assholes that ever gave me shit. Look around in my “family” and see what they’ve got to be proud of. Nada. Not shit. So much for all their talk about me, eh?
And before anyone gets on my case, this isn’t me just patting myself on the back. This is me looking at my life and realizing I’ve done a lot more than I ever thought I could, and more than some people do in a whole lifetime. And I’m not done yet. This is me finding some worth in myself and feeling good in retrospect. I still have a long way to go, but be fucked if I haven’t come a long god damned way already. I think I actually deserve to take a moment to be proud of myself.
It all goes to show that you should never listen to the people who try to tear you down. They’re losers anyway. No good person would ever tell you you’re worthless or won’t accomplish anything. No good person would tell you that you can’t do something. They’d push you forward and support you as you go along. I think they do it because they see our potential and want to keep us from being more than they could ever be. Heh, didn’t work too well for any of my relatives, did it?
Well, I’m going to go off and watch a movie or something, and revel in this feeling of worthiness and pride for a while. I’ve earned it!